Fear of commitment; most people feel that this is a burden to have in the back of one's mind. That if you fear commitment then you will never be in a stable relationship, that perhaps you will let the "one" slip away, maybe you'll become too cynical and never find love. But what if you don't ear commitment? What if you are cynical about love because you've had your heart stomped on several times all due to the fact that you're too willing for love? I am one of these people.
I don't have a fear of commitment. I've often been told by friends after each and every pitfall of every single relation(shit) which I have procured, that I am too generous with my heart. That I give people the benefit of the doubt too willingly, that I don't take first impressions seriously enough. And like any normal human being, I took my friends' advice to heart at the time, but not to the head, and thus fell into the same pattern with the next guy.
In my head if I don't believe the actions and words of the one I desire are honest, then I am not giving them a chance. So I choose to believe in every kiss goodnight, every I miss you, every meet my friends, meet my parents, grabbing my hand in public, and text good morning, because like majority of women, I believe in the fairytale, as cliche as it may be. However, looking back on what seems to be mistake after relationship after mistake of improper choice of guy, I sometimes wish I had a fear of commitment. Maybe if I had a fear of commitment then last time this happened to me I wouldn't have been as crushed; I would have believed it wasn't going to work out in the first place. There would be no surprise factor.
Honestly though as much as I sometimes wish I had this issue, in my mind I'm glad I dont. I realize now that I can be too trusting, and that's something I should work on, but what is a girl to do? So I ask my male readers, what is it that you expect us to do? I find that when in a budding relationship with a guy they always claim trust and honesty are a must in relationships, especially when it is established that no games are being played. However, then the girl agrees and believes you and everything you do, then after a month or so you (the guy) end it because you claim you don't want to be in a relationship. Well how is that not a game? Or is it ok for you to play and us to not?
Looking at if from an outside view I'm not surprised that more and more women are joining this group of commitment phoebes. Majority of the women who I know with commitment issues are ones that may have had one real long/strong relationship, one with real weight, and/or they have several friends whom have had their hearts broken repedeatly. It's only natural after watching friend after friend feel broken used and dismissed by a guy, to then turn around and fear relationships yourself.
Now guys, you will claim and you will always claim that you don't play games, maybe you are over that faze. And if that is true then I think perhaps there is a disconnection of communication to your head your heart and your dick. Just because she feels good in your arms and fucks really good and now you have someone to share your boring meals with, doesn't mean it's then ok to crush her hopes and tell her you're not read for a relationship. Because guess what? You've been acting like your are in one alread!
Oh and please, please, I guarantee I speak for the majority of the female population when I say this, stop using the "I was scared" card. Because guess what? I wasn't! And I'm the girl. Aren't you supposed to be the man? Aren't you supposed to have balls? Aren't you the one who is supposed to be living life fearlessly? If the "I'm scared" card continues to be pulled, more women are going to become fearful as weel. And what are we left with? More single parents, more babies running around, more resentment for the opposite sex, and no love. No love?! What would the Beatles thing? To shame!! Haha
But seriously, something is wrong when one who believes in love, starts wishing they feared it.
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