Career Title: Whore

The other night I went to a local bar, stumbling distance from my apartment, in order to make a sparkless date start a fire, and I found the perfect igniter and her name is Nixon. It was basically love at first sight for both of us, once we realized we're both loud, candid, honest, and don't deal with bullshit, especially from men. Not to mention we seem to have the same taste in fashion and the "pretty" boys we let keep us company. Therefore it would not be hard for anyone to believe that my attention turned to her for the rest of the night and not on my date, who for the next two hours didn't even attempt to add to any of the conversations that took place.

One of the topics of conversation that came up was that Ms Nixon used to be a stripper. Which I wasn't too surprised by because she seemed like quite a sexual person, however she only did topless and this is why: "I'm not fucking rubbing my vag up and down some nasty pole that doesn't get cleaned after each dance. I heard what those bitches said in the back, I don't want herpes!" hahaha Totally understandable. Of course the guys who chimed in thought her excuse was ridiculous and kept asking "what if the pole was cleaned?!" Yet they never quite got the point, until I pointed out that she was making a statement that she would never rub her vag up and down a public pole even if it was supposedly cleaned each time.

The conversation was entertaining to say the least and got me thinking about stripping. No no not me stripping per say, but the thought about having an audience paying to see you dance is intriguing. Isn't it the same as paying to see the ballet or a hip hop crew? The answer I would assume, would be no to most people. Strippers take their clothes off, they are sluts or whores. But it is their choice to take their clothes off isn't it? And the people who pay to see them dance, well it was their choice to do that too, right? So what's the big deal. Art students and Universities pay models to pose nude for art classes, but yet those models aren't seen as slutty, when there really is no difference. They are paid to take their clothes off for an audience.

Are porn stars whores? I guess in technical terms many would say yes because they have slept with G-d knows how many people, but it is their job too. Are you only a slut if you don't get paid to do it?

What about go-go dancers or burlesque dancers. These are sexual jobs that people consider classier than perhaps a stripper or a porn star, but the differences are minimal. Go-go dancers don't take off their clothes, but they get paid to dance hours on end, generally in suggestive manners. Many of them can work the pole as good as any stripper, so why are they accepted but strippers aren't? Burlesque dancers do strip, but it is considered and artistic performance and they are generally not completely naked in front of the audience. Which brings up the question, if you can call it art is it ok? What if a stripper were to say, "the way I dance is an art form, my body is a symbol of feminine sexuality to be studied by those so willing." Makes it sound pretty good, huh?


"The whore is despised by the hypocritical world because she has made a realistic assessment of her assets and does not rely on fraud to make a living...her honesty is regarded with mocking wonder," (Angela Carter). Agreed.

May I Keep You?

If there were ever the perfect movie to inspire me to write a blog about, it would be "Strictly Sexual," about two roommates who hire two guys to live in their pool house to have sex with them whenever they want, as kept men. Not only does the movie do a good job with character development it also gives an inside look into the male female dynamic, and what makes the other tick. Prostitution or escorts are generally viewed as a female dominated sport in social media, however the prospect of a kept man does come up frequently in the discussion of cougars. But what if you are a younger woman who decides that having a guy around to use for sexual pleasure is the poison which you choose to take?

My girl T and I have often joked about kidnapping our two favorite past lovers and keeping them for pure entertainment. Though the action will likely never take place based off legal factors, what if they came willingly? We are both stuck in love/hate relationships with them, where they both love us and we hate them, however each time their eyes grace our bodies, lust takes over and we give in. In that respect we have chosen to keep little to no constant contact which each, but if there were ever the chance to keep them around as long as we'd like, we'd take it.

So why not surpass societies natural responses to the situation and jump right into the sort of relationship many people would probably gladly consider? After all, men love sex, women love sex, why not bring the two together? Men seem to have this preconceived notion that if you just asked us to fuck we would automatically say no. What they may not understand is that sometimes we don't like to deal with the messiness of a relationship as much as they do. Which is one of the reasons people have one night stands, right? You get to enjoy the lust and the passion and not worry about where the person is or who they are with the next day. Of course with the concept of a kept man there would most likely be rules, such as can they or can't they run off and have sex with other people too? Likely not.

I suppose that's what the playboy bunnies are, kept women. They have a curfew, an allowance, and are supposed (or so I've heard) to have sex with Hugh Hefner. Once the kept person or the "employer" decide they want out, each party goes on their separate ways.

Its the companionship without the crazy, although based off observation guys love crazy...

Penis in a Jar

Recently I went people watching with my boy KB at one of our favorite bars in Tempe, Arizona. We soon realized that there were slim pickings for each of us, which was depressing, so we just kept ourselves entertained with each others witty remarks. At one point this drunk boy sat down with us and offered to buy each of us a drink. We had been drinking Stella (yum!) but I was starting to feel a little buzzed so I chose to switch it up with a bud light (bottle). After all it drinks like water but is alcohol so its perfect for those situations. Anyway, the kid asks why I want a bud light, I say I want a different taste in my mouth. He replies, "Why, isn't his taste already in your mouth?!" (referring to KB) hahahahah fucking hilarious, we tell him were like besties so no.

We then get into the discussion of can a guy and a girl really be just friends? Despite movies like "When Harry met Sally" I think yes and this is why. In reiterating, something Chris Rock once said, if you are a guy you either have girls who are friends (ones who you have yet to fuck but will) or you have friends who are girls (ones who at one point you wanted to fuck but you took a wrong turn into the friends zone). These girls think of you as their "dick in a jar," left high on the shelf for safe keeping for that 1% chance she run out of luck and she wants to fuck. In that case she'll take you down and try you out for size (literally and figuratively). Now as a guy you would never try because you know she thinks of you as just a friend, but if that small chance comes your way and she wants sex, you'd fuck her.

Now what most guys perhaps realize or don't, is that us girls will likely never take you out of the jar, because we appreciate our friendships. Personally, I have several guy friends, most of which I cringe at the thought of them having any sexual relationships with anyone because they are like step brothers in my eyes. However, there have been a few situations, when intoxicated, where I've thought maybe, but then I start thinking straight and don't go there. However, from experience and word of mouth I'm pretty sure most of those guys who have friends who are girls, still think about fucking them, especially if they are hot girls.

Then there are the unfortunate few guys, who fall head over heels for said friends and try to get her to feel the same way. I'm sorry life is not like the movies, despite what society wants to believe, and most of the time she will not return his feelings. And that's where you men pull the "all or nothing card." This in any situation is the stupidest thing for anyone to do. Never pull the "all or nothing card" unless you are 100% sure the other party will pick you, otherwise they wont and you just fucked up a good friendship. You should never make anyone choose between two people.

1. if they do choose you, there will still be left over tension from the fact that they were asked to choose from the get go. Then you'll have the constant thoughts in your head about well do they still think about the other person, after all they were into that other situation for a reason. And the guy/girl who did choose your way, will come to resent you. Resent, a word we should all learn to hate.

2. If they choose the other option, you just fucked up a good thing, even if you remain friends, the resentment is there.

Now, like most friendships between men and women, in the beginning there is always that lust based off pure physical attraction. You either were like damn they are hot or they aren't. If they weren't attractive in your mind, that slide into just friends is easy, at least on your side. However, if you were attracted to them, and you were positive they were into you, then fucking say something! If its in the beginning you don't really have any risk of ruining a friendship that was never really there to begin with. What many guys don't realise is that, we women like to fuck just about as much as you do. And if you don't want to date us but just fuck, say it. True we might not like the truth, but were big girls we can deal with it. We'll either fuck you anyways or move on to the next.

Here's where the idea of "fuck buddies" comes into play. If that is all you want then say it! Don't dance around the truth, just tell us. If no agreement is made then both parties will move on.

Yes, I know men like the chase, well try this one on for size: She says she doesn't want to just be a fuck buddy, so she walks away...well fucking keep chasing her if that's what gets you off!

However, what many men don't realise is that we women are a lot more calculative then you think....