Penis in a Jar

Recently I went people watching with my boy KB at one of our favorite bars in Tempe, Arizona. We soon realized that there were slim pickings for each of us, which was depressing, so we just kept ourselves entertained with each others witty remarks. At one point this drunk boy sat down with us and offered to buy each of us a drink. We had been drinking Stella (yum!) but I was starting to feel a little buzzed so I chose to switch it up with a bud light (bottle). After all it drinks like water but is alcohol so its perfect for those situations. Anyway, the kid asks why I want a bud light, I say I want a different taste in my mouth. He replies, "Why, isn't his taste already in your mouth?!" (referring to KB) hahahahah fucking hilarious, we tell him were like besties so no.

We then get into the discussion of can a guy and a girl really be just friends? Despite movies like "When Harry met Sally" I think yes and this is why. In reiterating, something Chris Rock once said, if you are a guy you either have girls who are friends (ones who you have yet to fuck but will) or you have friends who are girls (ones who at one point you wanted to fuck but you took a wrong turn into the friends zone). These girls think of you as their "dick in a jar," left high on the shelf for safe keeping for that 1% chance she run out of luck and she wants to fuck. In that case she'll take you down and try you out for size (literally and figuratively). Now as a guy you would never try because you know she thinks of you as just a friend, but if that small chance comes your way and she wants sex, you'd fuck her.

Now what most guys perhaps realize or don't, is that us girls will likely never take you out of the jar, because we appreciate our friendships. Personally, I have several guy friends, most of which I cringe at the thought of them having any sexual relationships with anyone because they are like step brothers in my eyes. However, there have been a few situations, when intoxicated, where I've thought maybe, but then I start thinking straight and don't go there. However, from experience and word of mouth I'm pretty sure most of those guys who have friends who are girls, still think about fucking them, especially if they are hot girls.

Then there are the unfortunate few guys, who fall head over heels for said friends and try to get her to feel the same way. I'm sorry life is not like the movies, despite what society wants to believe, and most of the time she will not return his feelings. And that's where you men pull the "all or nothing card." This in any situation is the stupidest thing for anyone to do. Never pull the "all or nothing card" unless you are 100% sure the other party will pick you, otherwise they wont and you just fucked up a good friendship. You should never make anyone choose between two people.

1. if they do choose you, there will still be left over tension from the fact that they were asked to choose from the get go. Then you'll have the constant thoughts in your head about well do they still think about the other person, after all they were into that other situation for a reason. And the guy/girl who did choose your way, will come to resent you. Resent, a word we should all learn to hate.

2. If they choose the other option, you just fucked up a good thing, even if you remain friends, the resentment is there.

Now, like most friendships between men and women, in the beginning there is always that lust based off pure physical attraction. You either were like damn they are hot or they aren't. If they weren't attractive in your mind, that slide into just friends is easy, at least on your side. However, if you were attracted to them, and you were positive they were into you, then fucking say something! If its in the beginning you don't really have any risk of ruining a friendship that was never really there to begin with. What many guys don't realise is that, we women like to fuck just about as much as you do. And if you don't want to date us but just fuck, say it. True we might not like the truth, but were big girls we can deal with it. We'll either fuck you anyways or move on to the next.

Here's where the idea of "fuck buddies" comes into play. If that is all you want then say it! Don't dance around the truth, just tell us. If no agreement is made then both parties will move on.

Yes, I know men like the chase, well try this one on for size: She says she doesn't want to just be a fuck buddy, so she walks away...well fucking keep chasing her if that's what gets you off!

However, what many men don't realise is that we women are a lot more calculative then you think....