Why is it these days that the men we date seem to be bigger vagina's then us? Sitting here with my girl J tonight, over a glass of wine, reading the ranting texts from her ex of over a year ago bitch and moan about loving her still but his need for her to stop talking to him, started us thinking. Poor poor boys, society has begged you for decades to be more in touch with your feelings and let your guard down, however we didn't think it would come to this. Men being so in touch with their emotions that they have latched onto stereoytipical female traits and emotions. Thus becoming type of guys they would most likely make fun of over a pitcher of beer and wings on boys night out. So, J and I decided to make a list of the down fall of the manly man:
1. ordering salads on first dates or dinner in general
2. taking longer then us to get ready and thus being late for anything
3. having more beauty products in their bathroom, yet appearing to look exactly like they looked when they woke up
4. continuing to text and complain or give us a play by play of their day even if we dont respond
5. being clingy
6. having less experince in bed and praising our skills
7. driving like a maniac
8. shaving every part of their body, making them look like boys instead of men
9. going tanning, fake tanning to be specific
10. crying during arguments
11. insiting we make the first move, yet claiming they are gentlemen
12. drunk dialing about how much they miss us
13. choosing to enjoy "girly" things such as chick flicks and shopping oh and dont forget manis and pedis
14. bromances
15. going to the bathroom together
16. (straight) guys wearing eyeliner and girl jeans
17. calling your friends to see what they are wearing that night
& im sure the list goes on and on.
where is my tall manly man who enjoys growing hair on his body and chopping wood? do you exist anymore? do i need to go into the wilderness and hope i stumble upon you? i really dont know...oh and i almost forgot, it appears that more women then men these days graduate college...perhaps the real problem is men are just getting stupider and lamer by the minute. maybe thats a bit harsh but sometimes men/boys/guys the male race is just baffling.
where have all the supermen gone? lost in the pages of comic books I guess, maybe we should go to comic-con, after all there was a moment there when geeks were the new favorite accessory hahaha
I like your site. Thanks! Here is a true story in return.
ReplyDelete18th AVENUE IN DOWNTOWN DENVER COLORADO
One day, a cute young couple in an old blue station broke down in front of the apartment. 18th Avenue in Downtown Denver is a very busy street but I noticed them, from the third floor apartment anyway. Interested in lending a hand, I and another fellow went down to the street to offer our assistance. After some brief introductions we pushed the wreck into a parking space across from our apartment. Next, the couple took-off, on foot, to a Seven-Eleven that was just up the street to call for help. When they came back without results, we invited them to crash at Bernie's Pad and the offer was excepted. Although stranded, I could see that the "guy" wasn't happy about having to crash with us that night but I did find out later-on that evening, why the girl was.
This girl that I speak of was... how shall I put it? Well. she was so sensual and sexy that straight women would go "bi" whenever they saw her. I shit you not. "V", was from a tiny Texas town just north of Dallas. She was young, extremely attractive and had that sweet southern girl charisma. Ya'll know what I'm talking about!
Now, don't take me for some schlepper just because I noticed that the lady had magnetic charm. I never hit on a women that was with another man. Unless of coarse, she had somehow made it obvious that, she wanted me too.
And, so it was that we found ourselves, in the dark, naked together, on the floor, in the vacant apartment that was just below Bernie's, at one o'clock in the morning, while everyone else was upstairs soundly sleeping. The empty rooms below Bernie's resonated with the sound of us banging. Our echoing noise stopped for a minute or two when "V's" guy friend came down-stairs to look for her. He must of woke up and figured out that V was being unfaithful to him so he left by himself, early the next morning. V and I climaxed together after her boyfriend went back up stairs but I had to cup her mouth in order to keep her quiet.
Sexy V stayed with me until the rent at Bernie's became due but a hobo is never stranded so we had a sale and sold all of the crash pad's furnishings. The money was divided among all of us who stayed there and then I grabbed sexy V and hit the road. She had never hitchhiked before. She seemed to be used to finner things that that. Ah, what am I saying, there is no finer thing than that.
Sexy V and me stayed together for almost three years. We parted as friends, when we finally did... but not until we had traveled around the whole country together and she was finished-schooling me with her sweet southern sensuality.
My education in this coarse will be reviewed, and covered in great detail with additional posts to this blog.