New Word: Friendcest

One of the reasons I chose to go to a big state university like the University of Arizona was because I had been through small private schooling my entire life. I graduated from both my 8th grade and senior high school classes with no more than 65 students. Meaning everyone knew everyone's business, even if not everyone was everyone's friend. Thus, I was drawn to the concept of a big school, one where the possibility of walking around campus and seeing strangers was an option, and one could make a new friend everyday without eventually knowing the entire student body.

Once entering the University I soon realized that yes there were people that I saw whom I never knew the name of, however the number of people who knew my business grew as well. The upside is I became a master networker. Though I had my core group of friends, I also knew several other people I could escape to if I needed a break or change of pace.

The downside was the incest, the coupling and re coupling or hooking up with multiple people within the group. When certain groups become so close with one another, they often become protective of the group, and deter from new comers, thus mating with each other in various combinations. We're like a pack of wolves (or any pack animal), yet instead of mating with only one and sticking to it, there's a melding of sorts. We throw logic and consequence out the window, follow lust, and start dating our ex's friend or the guy our best girl fooled around with last summer, and everything is peace love and daisies, or is it?

Looking back, I realized that these intimate friendships within groups, was not something that just occurred amongst college students, but in high schools as well. For example, a good friend of mine who went to a different high school, was part of what I like to call a Friendcest Group. Her group of friends was made up of eight gorgeous girls and eight gorgeous guys, literally picture perfect, definitely blockbuster worthy. It turns out they all dated each other, and if they didn't actually date another officially, they at the very least fooled around. Supposedly, the guys would even discuss with one another which of "the 8" they had yet to hook up with, almost as if they were collecting baseball cards or concert stubs. And though there was always the occasional bruised heart or hurt feelings the group remained as close as ever, even to this day.

From my observation, this overwhelming pool of love and lust between mutual friends can work, but most of the time causes some tension if not spontaneous combustion of friendships. Which are filled with too much he said she said, girl code guy code, and what is morally right or wrong. Even after these episodes happen and things seemingly go back to normal, and one person may or may not be part of the group anymore because they fucked a friend's ex, the cycle still seems to be repeated, lesson unlearned.

Thus, its safe to conclude: hot friends = incest & from my experience of attempting to date outside the core group, networking = the 8 degrees of separation aka public incest. Which is unfortunate when that really hot tall dark and handsome let me spin you around the dance floor guy, turns out to be the same guy your friend knows from experience as a manwhore. FML

What to Do with the F of C

Fear of commitment; most people feel that this is a burden to have in the back of one's mind. That if you fear commitment then you will never be in a stable relationship, that perhaps you will let the "one" slip away, maybe you'll become too cynical and never find love. But what if you don't ear commitment? What if you are cynical about love because you've had your heart stomped on several times all due to the fact that you're too willing for love? I am one of these people.

I don't have a fear of commitment. I've often been told by friends after each and every pitfall of every single relation(shit) which I have procured, that I am too generous with my heart. That I give people the benefit of the doubt too willingly, that I don't take first impressions seriously enough. And like any normal human being, I took my friends' advice to heart at the time, but not to the head, and thus fell into the same pattern with the next guy.

In my head if I don't believe the actions and words of the one I desire are honest, then I am not giving them a chance. So I choose to believe in every kiss goodnight, every I miss you, every meet my friends, meet my parents, grabbing my hand in public, and text good morning, because like majority of women, I believe in the fairytale, as cliche as it may be. However, looking back on what seems to be mistake after relationship after mistake of improper choice of guy, I sometimes wish I had a fear of commitment. Maybe if I had a fear of commitment then last time this happened to me I wouldn't have been as crushed; I would have believed it wasn't going to work out in the first place. There would be no surprise factor.

Honestly though as much as I sometimes wish I had this issue, in my mind I'm glad I dont. I realize now that I can be too trusting, and that's something I should work on, but what is a girl to do? So I ask my male readers, what is it that you expect us to do? I find that when in a budding relationship with a guy they always claim trust and honesty are a must in relationships, especially when it is established that no games are being played. However, then the girl agrees and believes you and everything you do, then after a month or so you (the guy) end it because you claim you don't want to be in a relationship. Well how is that not a game? Or is it ok for you to play and us to not?

Looking at if from an outside view I'm not surprised that more and more women are joining this group of commitment phoebes. Majority of the women who I know with commitment issues are ones that may have had one real long/strong relationship, one with real weight, and/or they have several friends whom have had their hearts broken repedeatly. It's only natural after watching friend after friend feel broken used and dismissed by a guy, to then turn around and fear relationships yourself.

Now guys, you will claim and you will always claim that you don't play games, maybe you are over that faze. And if that is true then I think perhaps there is a disconnection of communication to your head your heart and your dick. Just because she feels good in your arms and fucks really good and now you have someone to share your boring meals with, doesn't mean it's then ok to crush her hopes and tell her you're not read for a relationship. Because guess what? You've been acting like your are in one alread!

Oh and please, please, I guarantee I speak for the majority of the female population when I say this, stop using the "I was scared" card. Because guess what? I wasn't! And I'm the girl. Aren't you supposed to be the man? Aren't you supposed to have balls? Aren't you the one who is supposed to be living life fearlessly? If the "I'm scared" card continues to be pulled, more women are going to become fearful as weel. And what are we left with? More single parents, more babies running around, more resentment for the opposite sex, and no love. No love?! What would the Beatles thing? To shame!! Haha

But seriously, something is wrong when one who believes in love, starts wishing they feared it.

Eargasm

If you took a moment to pause and separate the sweet beat you hear in the club with the actual lyrics of the song, you would most likely hear something involving sex, whether it's the action itself or the physique of a lust worthy partner, or even how someone makes you feel. After all sex does sell. Though I often wonder if some rappers even possess the lyrical talent to write something beyond fucking in or outside the club, this however does not denote from how some songs make me feel. Whether you are dancing to said song with a partner or in a circle of your friends or even home alone in your bathrobe, some songs exude sex appeal. Thus for this blog I am going to list and discuss five of my favorite sexy songs, some of which are taken to an even higher level of excitement due to their video alone.

Note: the numerical order does not mean best to worst or even vise versa, merely what came to mind first :)

1. Shakira's "Did it Again" --> lyric example: You were so full of yourself/ But damn, were you cute as well/ You liked my legs, I liked your moves/ Anyone could tell, not a heart could deny that/ Did it again, love, I got it all wrong/ But it felt so right, I can't believe it

This song is about girl who meets a super hot guy and even though she knows he's wrong for her she goes for it and sleeps with him (something I can relate to). She then finds herself consistently going back for more, though she knows it's not the smartest thing to do. Though the song itself may not initially appear to be of high sex appeal, the video is amazingly hot. Especially if you favor sexy dance moves. Shakira and partner do a dance on the bed in resemblance of sex. Not only is their chemistry electrifying but the athleticism is superb, and just plain hot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igcsNG4aruA&ob=av2n

2. Rihanna's "Te Amo" --> lyric example: Then she said "te amo"/ Then she put her hand around my waist/ I told her no, she cried "te amo"/ I told her I'm not gonna run away, but let me go/...listen we can dance, but you gotta watch your hands/ watch me all night, I'm movin' to the light because I understand

The lyrics to this song are pretty simple and repetitive but the lesbian innuendo is quite clear. The song itself moves in almost a tango like rhythm that makes you want to seduce anyone else who happens to be in the room while you're listening to it. The music video takes this lust and temptation to a whole other level. If you were to put the sound on mute, the video alone would read as an extra sensual high fashion video for vogue. Set on the grounds of a romantic European estate, which only the lucky are able to experience. Frolicking around the estate are Rihanna accompanied by a stunning woman play a cat and mouse game of female attraction. The two of them standing still would ooze sex with just the wink of an eye, however watching them roll around seductively on classic automobiles, Persian rugs, front lawns, and each other is enough to make even the straightest girl wet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oe4Ic7fHWf8&ob=av3e

3. Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" --> lyric example: Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp/Demolition woman, can I be your man?/...I'm hot, sticky sweet/From my head to my feet

For years I have proclaimed this as my ultimate stripper song, if I were to ever grace the pole professionally and I'm sure several women would agree. Sure the lyrics are slightly on the raunchier and grittier side, but the song just makes a girl want to bend down and flip her head back, in slow motion to be capture by the eyes of every guy in the room. As one of my favorite hair metal songs of its time, it has the power of making any girl feel like the sexiest thing in the room.

The video isn't even worth linking since it does not do the song justice

4. Ciara ft Ludacris "Ride" --> lyric example: I can do whenever or however you want/ I can do it up and down. I can do circles/ To him I'm a gymnast, friskin' is my circus/ I market it so good, they can't wait to try me

I'm sure several of my readers have had sex with music on, if so have you ever fucked to a song that appeared to be narrating your movement? This is what this song does to me. It makes me want to act out what Ciara is singing while I'm on top. It gives me that extra boost of confidence to be like yes I'm that good, watch me as I rock my hips all over you. The video turns me on even more than the lyrics, watching Ciara dance makes me wish I was the guy she's singing the song to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp6W4aK1sbs

5. Billy Currington's "Must Be Doing Something Right" --> lyric example: A woman is a mystery/ A man just can't understand/ Sometimes all it takes to please her/ Is the touch of your hand

This song represents the romantic side of sexy. The male narrator of the song is amazed at how he lucked out with such a great girl that he is willing to do whatever she wants to please her. The music video shows Billy Currington and female lover rolling around in the sand half naked on a tropical island in black and white. Slightly corny, but mm mm good. Kind of makes a girl wish she was wrapped up in those manly strong arms or even just the girl he wrote the song about. Blue eyed beauties will likely muse the most.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbQfE2Oi6Wo

[stay tuned for round 2 of sexiest songs/videos]

Let Them Eat Sex!

Recently one of my girlfriends wrote on her facebook status, " im seriously getting tired of all of you people going on diets...just have lots of sex and u wont have to worry bout a thing :) xoxo," and I agree, well to some extent. I don't think that sex is necessarily the absolute solution to losing weight and keeping it off, however I do think it's the cheapest & least time consuming. The cheapest? Let me break it down for you (if you only get laid by hookers, need not read further): sex is free, whether or not it's someone you picked up at a bar, your friend with benefits, or your significant other, it's free. If you go to a gym, you have to pay for that membershi, and though that trainer may be the highlight of your week with his large tone arms and his I just want to eat you up abs, boy cost money, and generally too much.

Don't get me wrong a gym membership is a good way to meet a potential sex partner, because at least you will know that the stamina is there. However, you can dismiss the cost of a gym membership and go to a free salsa club. Believe me you will forget all about mister macho huge arms, one you're sund around by Mr. Let Me Whisper Sweet Nothings in A Language You Don't Know But I Doubt You Care While I Dip You With One Arm man.

Woo baby break me off a piece of that!

Moving on: Diets. Generally they are tasteless. Especially the ones you see on T.V. that com with precooked meals. I know from experience not because I went on one of the diets, but because my best friend did. I tasted the food it was horrible with a captial H! It was so bad that she quit the program, which left her with a pile of cardboard disguised as food and a hole in her wallet, which is the biggest issue here. Spending money on pre paid deit food is not the only issue with eating healthy. Healthy food, meaning organic, gluten free, fat free, no hydrogenated oils, etc, all cost more than regular food, especially if that is all you buy. Of course you could go 50/50 on the organic grown berries however it's still money, is it even worth it?

SEX DOESN'T COST A THING BABY!

Not only is sex free it also gives you that Holy-Shit-I-Need-A-Massage-Check-Out-These-Abs-My-Legs-Can-Walk-Up-These-Stairs-Faster-Than-You-Feeling in less time than a programed workout with your trainer or a 5 month plan with your dietitian. Let's be frank, the average sex session (post foreplay) takes no more than 30 minutes for full satisfaction for both parties. Generally people will see their trainer once a week maybe twice for about an hour give or take, but you can have sex everyday if you want! A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I don't think I need to comment on how long a diet program normall takes but let's say 6 months, and fuck that's long!

So what's the moral of the story? If you want to eat what you like & look fabulous, just have more sex!

[If you don't have anyone to have sex with, and need to know how to find someone, stay tuned for a soon to be blog :) ]

Girls Like That Make Me Happy I'm Not 19

Women behaving badly, is a three word term that turns the heads of men everywhere, leading the spotlight onto the actions of good girls gone bad. However women behaving badly should be reserved for women not girls. Girls under the age of 21 to be specific, do not know how to properly behave badly. Getting drunk and crying your eyes out for 3 hrs straight is no the way into a mans heart, you want him to chase you not run to the nearest exist. Now dont be mistaken, I have been there, but you should reserve your tears for those men who you wouldnt mind regretting the action for in the morning.

On that note I'd like to share a story about my Valentines Day night, one which started out amazing and ended with me wanting to go bad girls club crazy on some stupid beezy. After telling myself over and over that I was going to be good and go home early, I failed and went to Playhouse in LA with my girl M. Upon being at Playhouse for about a minute I rand into one of the most notorious bachelors in LA right now, who I had only met for a mere second the weekend before. Our eyes locked, he strolls over, toss back those romance novel dirty blond locks, and says, "hello gorgeous," in his sexy french accent, and I was sold. My friend leans over to pronounce his playboy status to me, which honestly dear reader I dont care about. I actually prefer it to some degree. If I know a guy is a playboy then I wont want to have sex with him. They are the best to play with, because you never have to wonder what it would be like to give into them because you know it would never work. So we make out, hot and heavy, and orgasmic.

I go to dance with my girl M, and turn around five minutes later to see a plastic Angelina Jolie hanging all over my dearest Playboy. My friend once again notes is notorious ways, and I simply reply, I dont care. Playboy then turns and whispers in my ear, "I refuse to leave without you tonight, I'm bored lets go." I smile and say ok. As were waiting for valet, plastic angie rolls by with her girlfriends yelling to Playboy that I'm ugly hahahahhahhahaha seriously honey? You got denied, you were not his flavour of the night, so get over it and move on. Do you think he seriously will want you now? If anything he'll just continue communication with you because everyone likes feeling wanted, even if they dont give a shit about whose singing their praises.

Anyways....Playboy and I return to his house and start to mess around (note: i did tell him no sex, which I doubt he believed, but who cares). All of a sudden we hear banging on the door, now he lives with his siblings so, we just assumed it was one of them and ignored the knocks. Yet, they continued for about 20 minutes, till I finally comment that it must be a chick because no guy would knock on another guys door for that long unless he wanted in his pants, which I doubted was the case. We open the door (both of us half dressed) to find a young little thing crying her eyes out (turns out she 19 or 20, from san diego, had sex with pb once). Playboy asks her what the matter is. She says she has no where to sleep, so he says she may sleep on the couch or join us and that she shouldnt be upset because he told her, he was going home with someone else.

It then turned into a he said she said on repeat for about 3 hrs while I bit my tongue. She cried saying she wanted to talk, he yelled tell her to stop being dramatic and that shes being rude. At one point he even threatened to call the cops on her because as he said, she was being a fucking brat. Finally, he got her to go sleep in his brothers room, and we fell asleep together, that is until I woke up in the morning, rolled over and saw her laying next to me not him. I left, livid.

Now ladies you have only two options if you show up at the house of a guy you like uninvited and you see him with another woman. It's either A or B, there is nothing in between, especially if you want him to want to want you again, and here they are:

A. Join. Yes, thats right, join, make it a threesome. I honestly was down, but she was not having it.

B. Leave. Don't hang around waiting for him to choose, he already did. He went home with another girl. If he really liked you that much he would have kicked out the girl upon your entrance, without you having to comment, or he wouldnt have taken girl number two home to begin with.

I know what I'm talking about. I went to see a past lover once, right before I left Arizona. He spent the entire night hanging on some other chick in front of me (after spending the days previous all over me). So I played some pong and then left. I didnt want to stick around to wait and see who he picked to spend his night with, why would I put myself through that? I have respect for myself, obviously Ms Thing didnt.

Next time I see her I really want to say: If you want to rock the label Femme Fatal, you've got to hold your own, leave them wanting more, not wondering were they can buy a muzzle so that you'll stop the whining. Grow up and be confident. If he'll let you cry over him for more then 30 minutes without trying to comfort you and shed those tears, then he doesnt care. Deal with it...if that doesnt work perhaps a slap across the face will snap her back into reality haha because, serioulsy? SERIOUSLY.

Happy fucking Valentines Day to me, at least I came, if you know what I mean ;)

You May Have a Penis but You Might aswell Have a Vag

Why is it these days that the men we date seem to be bigger vagina's then us? Sitting here with my girl J tonight, over a glass of wine, reading the ranting texts from her ex of over a year ago bitch and moan about loving her still but his need for her to stop talking to him, started us thinking. Poor poor boys, society has begged you for decades to be more in touch with your feelings and let your guard down, however we didn't think it would come to this. Men being so in touch with their emotions that they have latched onto stereoytipical female traits and emotions. Thus becoming type of guys they would most likely make fun of over a pitcher of beer and wings on boys night out. So, J and I decided to make a list of the down fall of the manly man:

1. ordering salads on first dates or dinner in general

2. taking longer then us to get ready and thus being late for anything

3. having more beauty products in their bathroom, yet appearing to look exactly like they looked when they woke up

4. continuing to text and complain or give us a play by play of their day even if we dont respond

5. being clingy

6. having less experince in bed and praising our skills

7. driving like a maniac

8. shaving every part of their body, making them look like boys instead of men

9. going tanning, fake tanning to be specific

10. crying during arguments

11. insiting we make the first move, yet claiming they are gentlemen

12. drunk dialing about how much they miss us

13. choosing to enjoy "girly" things such as chick flicks and shopping oh and dont forget manis and pedis

14. bromances

15. going to the bathroom together

16. (straight) guys wearing eyeliner and girl jeans

17. calling your friends to see what they are wearing that night

& im sure the list goes on and on.

where is my tall manly man who enjoys growing hair on his body and chopping wood? do you exist anymore? do i need to go into the wilderness and hope i stumble upon you? i really dont know...oh and i almost forgot, it appears that more women then men these days graduate college...perhaps the real problem is men are just getting stupider and lamer by the minute. maybe thats a bit harsh but sometimes men/boys/guys the male race is just baffling.

where have all the supermen gone? lost in the pages of comic books I guess, maybe we should go to comic-con, after all there was a moment there when geeks were the new favorite accessory hahaha

No More Mr Nice Guy

Until last night I was beginning to think that perhaps I was being too harsh on the current single male population; maybe not all guys were bad, maybe I should give the nice guy a second chance. Therefore, I decided to go on a few dates with some "nice guys," however last night and other recent events that occurred not only to myself but to my girlfriends as well, has changed my mind about this being called the "Nice Guy."

I went on a couple dates with a N.G, I'll call Tattoo J. Though he was covered in tattoos and drove a motorcycle he seemed sweet enough to me. I even thought at one point I would actually really like to be friends with this guy, if not something more. He showed great interest in me both sexually and mentally, constantly sending me flirtatious text messages, and was openly honest about life and such. Two nights ago he tells me he cant wait to see me and be able to put his hands all over my newly Hawaiian tanned body and invites me to drinks for the next night. After a few drinks he tells me that he has a girlfriend, and has had one since the first time we met. Are you fucking kidding me?!

Here's the deal I understand that some of you guys may think you're being N.G's by confessing shit to us like that in person, but do yourself a favor and don't. Not only did he claim the first night we met that he was an honest guy, which now was obviously a lie, but i have now wasted a night I could have been spending with another guy or a friend. Tattoo J then with glassed over eyes repeatedly tells me hes sorry and I'm amazing and he was being selfish, well you know what I told him? "You are just plain stupid!"

I have a new theory about this N.G. thing. I believe at one point true N.G.'s did exist...that is 50 yrs ago, when giving your pin to a girl was peachy keen, and guys enjoyed holding a girls hand as much as they enjoy grabbing asses now. However, things have obviously changed. Now a days guys constantly complain that girls only go for B.G's (bad guys) and they always miss the good ones, yet the supposed N.G's always become B.G's down the line. It's as if all of a sudden the male race woke up one morning and was like lets all be B.G's. Now its truly slim pickings, for us women. Us girls shouldn't be the ones to blame for falling for the wrong kind of guy, blame yourselves (the guys) for being them.

My girl A had a realization one night a few months ago, that she had feelings for our friend B (who we had all known had been in love with her forever). They started out pretty casual, but quickly their relationship turned into a sleepovers every night-shared meals every day-kissy kissy lovey dovey puke in your mouth infatuated with one another-ship. B had been that cute boyish nice academically smart guy we'd all enjoyed hanging out, with into a completely whipped on my girl A and her on him. They appeared disgustingly into one another, and though they never made their relationship official on facebook, they were exclusive with one another.

Until one day A was roaming on facebook and came across a correspondence between B and his most recent ex who was away in France for the semester. In the messages A discovered that B and the ex were still saying how much they were in love with one another and how they couldn't wait to see each other. At one point B mentioned not taking a job offer in Vegas to be with her when she got back. When A confronted B with what she had seen, he denied it until she showed him proof, he then cried like a little bitch and begged her "not to give up on what they had." What exactly is it that they had? A relationship between a nice girl and a Jackal and Hyde? It still baffles me how such a seemly nice and devoted guy could turn around and devote his heart to another girl as well. I feel like for most people that involves way too much energy to even think about doing it.

So what is my conclusion (for now) about this nice guy epidemic? Men are selfish. When Tattoo J was flirting up a storm with me and asking me out and kissing me, was he thinking about how I would react when I found out he wasn't single? Obviously not. Was B considering how heartbroken A would be when she found out her dearest lover and friend was in love with someone else? Nope. And what about the other girls involved? I wonder how they are going to feel if and when they find out what these black knights in white armour were doing behind their backs.

Seriously, in the words of Minni Driver in Grosse Pointe Blank, "Where are all the good men dead, in the heart or in the head?" Obviously the head, since they seem to lack hearts.