Wednesday, December 15, 2010

No More Mr Nice Guy




Until last night I was beginning to think that perhaps I was being too harsh on the current single male population; maybe not all guys were bad, maybe I should give the nice guy a second chance. Therefore, I decided to go on a few dates with some "nice guys," however last night and other recent events that occurred not only to myself but to my girlfriends as well, has changed my mind about this being called the "Nice Guy."




I went on a couple dates with a N.G, I'll call Tattoo J. Though he was covered in tattoos and drove a motorcycle he seemed sweet enough to me. I even thought at one point I would actually really like to be friends with this guy, if not something more. He showed great interest in me both sexually and mentally, constantly sending me flirtatious text messages, and was openly honest about life and such. Two nights ago he tells me he cant wait to see me and be able to put his hands all over my newly Hawaiian tanned body and invites me to drinks for the next night. After a few drinks he tells me that he has a girlfriend, and has had one since the first time we met. Are you fucking kidding me?!




Here's the deal I understand that some of you guys may think you're being N.G's by confessing shit to us like that in person, but do yourself a favor and don't. Not only did he claim the first night we met that he was an honest guy, which now was obviously a lie, but i have now wasted a night I could have been spending with another guy or a friend. Tattoo J then with glassed over eyes repeatedly tells me hes sorry and I'm amazing and he was being selfish, well you know what I told him? "You are just plain stupid!"




I have a new theory about this N.G. thing. I believe at one point true N.G.'s did exist...that is 50 yrs ago, when giving your pin to a girl was peachy keen, and guys enjoyed holding a girls hand as much as they enjoy grabbing asses now. However, things have obviously changed. Now a days guys constantly complain that girls only go for B.G's (bad guys) and they always miss the good ones, yet the supposed N.G's always become B.G's down the line. It's as if all of a sudden the male race woke up one morning and was like lets all be B.G's. Now its truly slim pickings, for us women. Us girls shouldn't be the ones to blame for falling for the wrong kind of guy, blame yourselves (the guys) for being them.




My girl A had a realization one night a few months ago, that she had feelings for our friend B (who we had all known had been in love with her forever). They started out pretty casual, but quickly their relationship turned into a sleepovers every night-shared meals every day-kissy kissy lovey dovey puke in your mouth infatuated with one another-ship. B had been that cute boyish nice academically smart guy we'd all enjoyed hanging out, with into a completely whipped on my girl A and her on him. They appeared disgustingly into one another, and though they never made their relationship official on facebook, they were exclusive with one another.




Until one day A was roaming on facebook and came across a correspondence between B and his most recent ex who was away in France for the semester. In the messages A discovered that B and the ex were still saying how much they were in love with one another and how they couldn't wait to see each other. At one point B mentioned not taking a job offer in Vegas to be with her when she got back. When A confronted B with what she had seen, he denied it until she showed him proof, he then cried like a little bitch and begged her "not to give up on what they had." What exactly is it that they had? A relationship between a nice girl and a Jackal and Hyde? It still baffles me how such a seemly nice and devoted guy could turn around and devote his heart to another girl as well. I feel like for most people that involves way too much energy to even think about doing it.




So what is my conclusion (for now) about this nice guy epidemic? Men are selfish. When Tattoo J was flirting up a storm with me and asking me out and kissing me, was he thinking about how I would react when I found out he wasn't single? Obviously not. Was B considering how heartbroken A would be when she found out her dearest lover and friend was in love with someone else? Nope. And what about the other girls involved? I wonder how they are going to feel if and when they find out what these black knights in white armour were doing behind their backs.




Seriously, in the words of Minni Driver in Grosse Pointe Blank, "Where are all the good men dead, in the heart or in the head?" Obviously the head, since they seem to lack hearts.